Don't give up on yourself

This week is about challenges. I've always said that I LOVE challenges. This week I realised... I'm such a fraud.
I love challenges that are difficult - but just as difficult that I know deep down that I'm still going to be great at it. That is NOT a challenge. But still I've been walking around feeling stupidly proud of myself. So - the wake up call..

I'm a dancer - been dancing for years. Still I'm not a great great dancer - I'm ok. I love it so I keep training training training to get REALLY good. After four years not dancing I decided to start practising ballet. Ballet is great exercise and both beautiful and good technique. But to be honest - I'm not good. That's no problem really since I don't suck... I just don't feel comfortable showing off. In fact just the thought of performing ballet makes be shiver and having day-mares... 

So.. My teacher came up to me asking: Kajsa? You will be attending the performance in a few weeks right?
My heart stopped. Like a skittish kitten I desperately searched in my mind for excuses and I believe I had a few successful ones. During class it's hard to look at myself in the mirror. Imagining people I don't know - or worse those I do know- watching me dance is a great chuck up reflex for me..

I managed to escape but then it hit me. My image of myself as a brave, challenging and real tough woman was totally crushed. I felt so ashamed for myself. When something so uncomfortable and scary came up I screamed and ran in the other direction... More than scared I felt disappointed. 

So I'm in. I am going to do this damn show. I will be scared as hell doing something that is way beyond my comfort zone. And damn what a proud dancer who will walk out if there when show's over.

This is a tiny little dance show - I know. But there are so many things that can scare the hell out of us. But we can not let them defeat us. Always challenge - deep breath. I rather fail than not even give it a try, cuz then I'll never develop and never, for real, succeed.


Sweet as...

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